My name is Ricky and I’m 14 years old, that’s 72 in pug years. You see, I’m an old pug. My mama calls me an antique because I’m so valuable. You see, I’m a pug, and we are very special creatures, at least that’s what my mama tells me.
Pugs snort to say “I love you” and we make other beautiful sounds just for our mamas. We’re mostly fat and smooshy. Very adorable. We also emit magical sparkles everywhere we sit and each time our mamas pet us.
My family and I live in a small country-like town just outside of Cincinnati. We moved here almost four years ago when the mama married papa. Four years seems more like 32 for this little pug. We have a big ole yard. I used to like exploring it. Lately, I have been a bit lazy. Instead of treading the cool grass and sniffing the tall trees, I’ve been staying inside near the air conditioner snoozing. I dream about pug foods and the mama…
Where was I?
Oh yeah, I live with the mama and papa, my brother Anton who’s 16, that’s 80 in pug years, but he isn’t a pug, he’s a human, like my mama and papa.
Sorry, where was I?
Oh, I also live with my brother Jack, he’s 2 and also a human. Two is a good age. I came to live with the mama when I was 2. Until then, I lived with a nice older lady in her 80s. That’s… well in pug years that’s… I’m not sure… I guess really, really old. Anyway, I lived with her and four oodles, the mama calls them poodles. I call them oodles because they were oodles of fun. Hahaha SNORT! However, they always tried to steal my pug foods. To this day, I still gobble down my pug foods to make sure no oodles get it, even though I don’t live with oodles anymore.
Anyway… I was going to say…
Ah, the cat. I live with a cat named Puff. He’s 1. He doesn’t pay much attention to me or anyone really, except papa.
Then, there’s my nemesis. Cuddle Bum. He’s a guinea pig and he thinks he’s the cutest thing and so special. But, he is not a pug. I catch my mama holding him and it makes me a bit mad. She should not be holding Cuddle Bum when she could be holding me.
Oh and then there’s that dog, NO! She’s still a puppy, the mama says. I think she’s annoying. She pesters me sometimes as I’m snoozing. The mama also says her name is Bo, but I only hear them yelling No! when they want her attention. It’s confusing. She is not a pug. The mama says she’s a beagle, but I never hear her singing any good songs like John, Paul, George and Ringo. I really don’t see anything she does as good. As, I said, she’s not a pug, and she’s annoying.
My favorite in the house… I know you’re not supposed to have favorites, but I do… it’s the mama. She’s the best. So gentle. She gives me pets, makes sure I stay cool and gives me all the pug foods I could dream of.
I’m her favorite too. She often sneaks close to my ear and whispers, just so I can hear: “love you Ricky, you’re my old fat pug and you’re my favorite.”
In fact, out of all the fat pug’s in the world, I’m the best, she says. That’s quite a feat because all pugs are so special.
Well, I think that’s a wrap for my first blog post. I’m an old pug, but I can learn new tricks, like surfing the Internets. I don’t even need a surfboard. Hahaha SNORT! Please come back in a few weeks to see what I’ve got to say next.
All my snorts,